wonkyworks

My new kindle children's picture book!!

2011-10-07T05:19:00.000-07:00

Teach your dog to levitate

2011-06-13T08:54:00.000-07:00

There's nothing cuter than a levitating dog. And it's such an easy trick to learn.

Start training a dog to levitate by asking him to sit.
With your dog in a sitting position, hold a treat at his nose, and give him the command "levitate."
As your dog reaches to take the treat in his mouth, slowly raise the treat over his head so that he'll have to reach up to get it. Raise it up until he is hovering with his paws off the floor.
As soon as your dog is in this hovering position, tell him "good", and give him a treat.
Repeat these steps several times each day for short training sessions. It won't be long until your dog is levitating on command.

How to tell if you have ghosts in your house

2011-06-12T14:31:00.000-07:00

Does your home have ghosts in it? You probably do not know and would not know because you have not had it checked for ghosts. What is one of the biggest things your house is made of? Yes that is right your house is made mostly of cake. Your house looks like an all you can eat buffet to a ghost colony. Your house can provide ghosts with decades worth of food and they will eat your house to bits, trust me.

How do you know if you have ghosts? Well you can inspect your home. Ghosts can be anywhere in your home even in the attic. You need to check your home all over and under to make sure that the ghosts are not eating away at your home. One of the big problems with ghosts is that they can eat away your home slowly and you do not even know it. If you do not trust yourself to inspect your home then you need to hire a professional. A professional will inspect your home and if they find any ghosts they will kill them so you won’t have a ghost problem anymore.

Jake Bakes Cakes! More pictures!

2011-06-09T14:20:00.000-07:00

Jake bakes cakes for acrobats.

And for witches and their cats.

Jake Bakes Cakes! New kindle children's book just published!

2011-06-04T11:33:00.000-07:00

Latest kindle book!
Jake Bakes Cakes
"This is Jake.
Jake bakes cakes!
What kind of cakes does Jake bake?
He bakes upside down cakes for acrobats.
And pumpkin cakes for witches and their cats.
He bakes banana cakes for monkey in the tree.
And fish cakes for fishes in the sea . . ."But what does Jake do when his baking day is done? Why, he throws off his hat, puts up his feet and . . . well you'll find out at the end of this jolly rhyming picture book.

Get it here: http://amzn.to/k9bO7F

New Kindle Picture Book Now Published! Silly Monsters ABC!

2011-04-19T07:07:00.000-07:00

Now published on kindle:
amazon.com
amazon.co.uk

A is for the amblemoose,

who ambles aimlessly.

B is for the buzzlesnout,

who buzzes like a bee.

C is for the crocododo,

who eats carrot cake.

D is for the drooling dampwottle,

who dribbles by the lake.

Next kindle title Work in Progress

2011-04-12T15:05:00.000-07:00

Just finished line work for my next kindle title, Silly Monsters Rhyming ABC. Now just need to colour it all in, sort out text, design a cover, format it all and hopefully have it on sale by the weekend :)

Are Vampires Dangerous?

2011-03-26T16:19:00.000-07:00

Are Vampires Dangerous?

Vampires don't really have any real predators, except for humans so they are extremely reluctant to come into contact with people and would not attack you under any circumstances usually and they'd simply scurry off if they detected human presence nearby. However, an injured or sick vampire might take up refuge inside or underneath a garden shed and, if it is cornered, it could feasibly attack as a form of defence. Likewise, if a vampire is trapped, it could lash out in a bid for freedom. Neither would a vampire attack a pet such as a dog but if the dog was likely to attack or harass a vampire, it would be better to keep your dog in overnight.

famous furry floodlefly

2011-03-25T09:16:00.000-07:00

Hairy hipparoo

2011-03-24T05:29:00.000-07:00

My next kindle book will be an ABC of silly monsters.
Just started sketching it out.
H is for the hairy hipparoo, who likes to wear a hat.
I seem to have a thing about hats at the moment.

More pictures from my second children's kindle picture book

2011-03-17T05:08:00.000-07:00

Happy spider.

Happy bees.

Happy mouse, eating cheese.

Link to latest self published kindle picture book

2011-03-16T10:21:00.000-07:00

Amazon.com Widgets

Another kindle title!

2011-03-12T13:38:00.000-08:00

Just published another kindle book! Hoorah!

2011-02-22T11:54:00.000-08:00

I have managed to get my book categorised on amazon.com, after sending support an email. Seems to have helped, as today I have had five sales!! Hoorah! Total sales so far (since Feb 5th) = 19 usa, 11 uk. Am desperately trying to get my next publication finished (Robot ABC), which I have high hopes for, but am having to do regular work, which gets in the way of my plans for self publishing world domination.

Here is a picture of a rabbit with a ray gun.

The boys stopped in surprise

2011-02-21T08:21:00.001-08:00

First Review!!

2011-02-20T14:11:00.000-08:00

Have had first review of my self published picture book on amazon.com! Five stars, too. Am super chuffed.

"This is the BEST Kindle book for this age group that I have seen.

When my 3 year old daughter asked for an ereader last Christmas, she received an Android tablet with Kindle for Android (as well as other ebook applications). It seems that only recently have illustrated, color children's books began to come to the Kindle. So I was elated to find an indie illustrated, color children's book!

The cute, colorful pictures are great even for children that can't yet read - they can guess the rhyme from the picture, as well as try to find the bird in each picture. The easy to read rhymes are great for new readers. The "story" itself is cute and kept my daughter hooked."

How to feed vampires

2011-02-16T13:45:00.000-08:00

How We Can Help Vampires

In order to help vampires, gardeners should avoid using slug pellets because, as well as vampires helping you get rid of a slug problem naturally, the pellets can also kill vampires and even if they don’t eat the pellets directly, if the slugs they eat have been poisoned, this will also be absorbed into the vampires' body tissue too. You can supplement a vampire’s natural diet especially in autumn when they need to accumulate fat before they go into hibernation for the winter.

What to Feed Vampires

Tinned cat or dog food and even dry dog food is a useful addition to a vampire’s diet. They’ll also eat things like bacon rind. You should also ensure that you put out fresh water with any food you leave but you shouldn’t feed a vampire milk or bread in large amounts as they can cause diarrhoea.

eggbot

2011-02-15T13:43:00.001-08:00

2011-02-15T11:32:00.000-08:00

No sales of my kindle book so far today - I was hoping to get at least a sale a day, but rather too optimistic I suppose. Asides from if the book is any good or not, it is difficult putting it in the right category. I have to put it in the category Juvenile fiction as that is the only option available to me when I publish on the amazon kdp site. There is no category for picture books, or even children's books by age group. Oddly, the category options you are given don't match the categories in the kindle store anyway. It's all rather frustrating and is no good for anyone looking for my book. Anyway, I might do a robot ABC next instead of the Mouse book.

Here is F for Flowerbot: (maybe)

More on my new kindle publishing experiment

2011-02-14T09:00:00.000-08:00

So far sales are encouraging. I have sold 12 copies (or units, as amazon calls them). 7 in the UK and 5 in the US. I would estimate, though, that over half of those sold are to family and friends (hooray for vanity publishing!). I have started work on my second title, provisionally titled A House for Mouse.

Here is another illustration from If You Have a Hat:

Self published Kindle children's book

2011-02-12T15:01:00.000-08:00

Here are some images from my first attempt at publishing for amazon's kindle.

And a Ray Gun!

2010-07-05T12:11:00.000-07:00

The Bumbler

2010-07-05T12:10:00.000-07:00

Another Robot Racer

The UFO Robot Racer

2010-07-05T11:48:00.000-07:00

These (or pictures like these) may be soon to form the basis of a children's picture book! Watch this space!

Robot Racer Print

2010-07-05T11:45:00.000-07:00

Moving House

2010-07-05T11:43:00.000-07:00

Have had a lot going on, and am finally, hopefully, moving house. Here is a robot picture.

Retro Robot Racer

2010-03-17T07:54:00.000-07:00

Finished at last, after a lot of fiddling around getting an axle solution, my first Retro Robot Racer. This is hand cut out of tin and then painted and assembled with additional elements stuck on. It is influenced by timeworn tinplate toys, science fiction robots, vintage racing cars and steampunk. I don't know if it is steampunk, perhaps dieselpunk? I'm not qualified to say. Anyway I hope to make some more, and perhaps some stand alone robots, using the same technique.

The world of machine, painted metal ACEO collage

2010-03-01T09:51:00.000-08:00

The World of Machine
Another 2 1/2" x 3 1/2" little mixed media ACEO.
I'm wondering if I should try Ebay. I am not having much success selling anything on Etsy.

Got lots of new ideas for stuff, though.

My ex's corpse

2010-02-26T04:13:00.000-08:00

My ex. She just died in her sleep. Honestly, officer.

Here's the insides of my old G4 titanium, which I am going to recycle into works of art. Can't wait to get stuck in!!

Mind you, she wasn't looking too healthy before she expired:

Robot tin painting ACEO "TESTING MACHINE" with added bits

2010-02-25T14:50:00.000-08:00

This little painting has got a compass dial and some cut up bits of recycled brass added to it.
I am enjoying making these, but I don't know what other people think of them. I'll carry on, because they make me happy, anyway.
I will be making some more 3d assemblage robots shortly.
I've started on Twitter, and am following as many etsy sellers as I can.

ACEO painting on tin DWARF ELECTROSTATIC robot

2010-02-23T14:49:00.000-08:00

Another day, another little painting on tin. I stuck washers and bent wire on this one, and also parts of an old label for a "DWARF" ammeter which I bought off ebay as part of my stockpile of bits for robot making.

Robot Art ACEO "10 TON ELECTRICALLY DRIVEN"

2010-02-22T14:02:00.000-08:00

Another little ACEO painting on tin. I have added a little bit of my recently expired Mac - I shall recycle it centimetre by square centimetre until there is nothing left. I wonder if I could saw up the outer casing into ACEO sized bits. It may be hard work, as it is supposed to be made of titanium, or is that just the chassis?

INVAR Another Robot ACEO painting on tin

2010-02-21T12:17:00.000-08:00

Here is "INVAR" another of my robot ACEO series, painted on tin, with some collage elements and a little brass detail. It is the usual ACEO size of 2 1/2 x 3 1/2 inches. I am putting these on Etsy, but they don't seem to be getting many views. Perhaps robots aren't popular with ACEO collectors :(

International Robots of the World No.1 - Atomic Robot Man

2010-02-20T11:25:00.000-08:00

Slowly been building up junk ready for the next round of making. Just need some time to sit down and do it. In the meantime, have started making ACEOs again, this time with a robot theme. I am painting them on tin, and adding collage and scrap elements. They are based on 1940s and 50s tinplate toy robots.

I love chickens - they know everything!

2010-01-22T01:31:00.000-08:00

I haven't added any designs to my Cafepress t-shirt shop for ages, but all of a sudden they seem to be selling a lot of my I Love Chickens design. I don't know why - perhaps it got promoted somehow. Shame though I only get $2.40 for each one I sell. Don't know why that is, but I suppose $2.40 is better than nothing. Available here!

The Brothers Quay

2009-12-28T11:01:00.000-08:00

Got the BFI two disc set of The Short Films of The Brothers Quay 1979 - 2003 for Christmas. Enthralling stuff. Quite hypnotised by the beauty of the animations, the textures, the music, the shifts of focus and depths of field, and the the glimpses of the hidden worlds. I particularly like the poses of the puppets, the extended hand, the cocked head, the subtle pausing.

Christmas meltdown

2009-12-17T02:39:00.000-08:00

It's all too much! My hard disk on my trusty old G4 powerbook has finally given up the ghost, so I'm having to shell out for a new laptop. Settled on getting a 13" Macbook Pro, mainly because it's the cheapest (Mac) option. Got some regular illustration work to finish so I need it to do that. Unfortunately that means I've had to put construction of wonkybots etc on hold probably until the new year. Grrrrrrrrr. I'd rather have spent the money (that I haven't got anyway) on a bench drill (or perhaps a turkey and some crackers).

Wonky Racer Rabbit Car

2009-11-25T13:09:00.001-08:00

Here is a little racing car made out of an old John Bull puncture repair tin, some bits of Meccano and some hand cut tin, inspired by the look of battered old vintage tinplate toys. I love the surface texture of rusty old tins. The letters were handcut with tinsnips, apart from the two "O"s, of course, which are washers.

Wonkybot No 2, Cedric

2009-11-25T04:20:00.000-08:00

Have completed second wonkybot.His name is Cedric. He has a slightly raffish air, I feel, on account of his jaunty red hat.

Sold!

2009-11-20T14:54:00.000-08:00

Well, Wonkybot No.1 was on Etsy for all of a day and he's been sold! He will be winging his way over the Atlantic Ocean in the next few days. I'll have to wrap him up well for the journey. Here are a few more photos of him.

Wonkybots are go!

2009-11-19T06:57:00.000-08:00

Here is Wonkybot Number One.